Indian Women and Domestic Violence: Breaking Free from a Life of Abuse

Purnima with an Anganwadi Worker on a Sunny Day

A traditional fire, fueled by cow dung, burned steadily in the courtyard; a local ritual believed to protect newborns from infections and the evil eye (nazar). Communities across the country have long practised such customs to protect infants. But this brings us to a deeper, often unspoken question: Who protects the mother?

Take Poonam’s household, for example. We met her when she was seven months pregnant with her second child. In the beginning, she remained quiet during our visits. Slowly, she began to open up. One day, she shared that her husband often came home drunk. He didn’t take responsibility for the household. He hits her, sometimes even targeting her stomach. Does this mean he doesn’t want the child? Or does he simply not realise that his violence could endanger a life?

Sadly, such scenarios are all too common. Some women even interpret abuse as a twisted form of love. Perhaps because it’s the only time they receive attention, or because they have been taught, generation after generation, that such behaviour is a man’s right. They say, “mard hai toh marega hi na" [being a man, he'll obviously be violent].

At ZealGrit, we meet expectant mothers every day. We talk about nutrition, foetal development, and self-care. But sometimes, these conversations uncover deeper wounds. What do we do then?

We aren’t trained in domestic violence counselling. We are social impact practitioners. So we do what we can with compassion, consistency, and care. We listen without judgment. We support like friends, guide like mentors, and speak respectfully with families. When needed, we involve elders. We use tools like a pictorial pregnancy calendar to explain how the baby is growing and what the mother needs to stay healthy.

And sometimes, albeit slowly, change begins.

Poonam's first hospital visit

In Poonam’s case, we first tried speaking with her husband, but he ignored us. Since her mother-in-law had passed away, we reached out to her father-in-law instead. After several gentle conversations, he began to understand that someone had to step up and care for Poonam. He started bringing her seasonal fruits, ensured she drank milk daily, and even looked after her first child so she could rest. Gradually, Poonam’s husband began to take an interest.

Eventually, both he and the father-in-law accompanied her for an antenatal check-up, a first for this pregnancy, and something that hadn’t happened in the previous one. In her ninth month, we discussed birth preparedness. When we visited next, we were elated to see that her father-in-law had packed her delivery bag himself––clean sarees, a bedsheet, cloth to wrap the newborn, the MCP card, and medical reports. Conversations help!

Poonam recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy. She is doing well, too. Because every mother deserves more than just a fire to protect her child, but a loving family that protects her too. At ZealGrit, we may not have all the answers, but we walk alongside mothers, every step we can, with care and commitment.